Since we've been home

Miles is growing like a weed! He has gained a lot of weight and is doing really well (I'm keeping track of his development in the right-hand column for those of you who are interested). The following is a recap of what we've been up to for the last four weeks...

First bath at Miles' new home

Look at those curls!

Meeting dad's coworkers

Meeting Mark, a close friend and coworker

Grandma Carr came from Kansas to visit

Grandma Dorothy came from Logan

Miles at the doctor's

Dad helping at Miles' doctor's visit

Michelle (a dear friend and neighbor) threw us a baby shower

The guests of honor

The gorgeous shower cake!!!

Good times!!!

Everyone loved meeting Miles!

Miles loves his swing

Quality time with dad

Tummy time

While we waited...

Here are a few things we did and saw while in South Carolina visiting Dave's sister and her family and while we waited for Miles to be able to join our family.

I felt a little claustrophobic while out there. The highways were lined with trees so the view was very limited!

Eating at McDonald's/Chick-Fil-A with Tyler & Carter

Me & the boys

Austin up to bat

Me, Shannon, & half of Ed watching Austin play

Austin pitching

Us on a pier by downtown Charleston

Dave & Shannon

On the phone with the adoption agency (we were on-call all week!!!)

We HAD to go to the beach!!!

Open air market in downtown Charleston

The gang (minus Ed & Austin) in Charleston. I've been meaning to crop this pic, but just haven't done it yet.

Even though we are soaking wet because it had been raining I love love love this pic of us!

Tyler had fun catching the crabs that were everywhere! He even got pinched once or twice.

Relaxing (not sure what I'm doing with my neck in this pic)

The whole gang

The rest of the story finale

After we arrived in Raleigh, NC we rented a car and made our way to Rocky Mount which was where Miles was born, approximately an hour away from the airport. At the last minute we decided to not take our previously purchased car seat with us (not exactly sure why we decided this other than we thought it might be easier to just get one when we got there) so when we got to Rocky Mount we found the Walmart and picked up another car seat. We also picked up some white roses to give to Miles' birth mom and then made our way to the hospital. We were sooooooo nervous to meet Miles' birth mom, but very excited at the same time. Both of our stomachs were in knots! Once the caseworker got there we all went to Miles' birth mom's room and spent some time getting to know each other. We even got to meet Mr. Miles and held him briefly. What a neat experience!!!

When it was time for all of the paperwork to be filled out we were taken to a separate room to sign our papers while his birth mom was given her paperwork to sign. The caseworker got us started on our paperwork and then returned to check on her. The caseworker was gone for an extremely long time and I began to worry. When she finally came back she didn't have the best news to give us. She said that Miles' birth mom was confused as to what to do and wasn't sure if she could go through with placing him for adoption. The caseworker talked her through a few things and then was giving her some time to think about all of it before she returned to get her final decision. We sat there and talked to the caseworker during this time. While the caseworker was back in with Miles' birth mom we decided to go down to the cafeteria to get some food. I also called our caseworker in Utah to let her know what was happening. What seemed like an eternity later the caseworker met us in the cafeteria and told us that Miles' birth mom had decided to keep him and parent him herself. We made it to the parking lot and then both broke down in tears. We stood there and held each other and cried. I would have to say that was THE hardest thing we've ever gone through together. I then called my mom to tell her the bad news and could barely make it through that conversation as well. We decided to immediately return the car seat to Walmart. We then were trying to figure out what the next step should be in getting us back to Utah.

We decided that we would drive back to Raleigh to spend the night in a hotel and then the next day travel down to Dave's sister's house which was approximately 4 hours south of Raleigh. In all of our 9 years of marriage we had never been to visit Shannon and her family in SC so we decided since we were so close we needed to take advantage of that and go see her. We got almost all of the way to Raleigh when we got a call from our caseworker in Utah saying that Miles' birth mom was being discharged from the hospital, but was refusing to take Miles home with her because she after all wanted to place him for adoption. We pulled off on the side of the highway and waited for more information to come from the caseworker who had been working with his birth mom. When the caseworker finally called she said the hospital had agreed to keep Miles overnight and that his birth mom would have the night to think about exactly what she wanted to do and then they would meet at the hospital the next morning. His birth mom was not getting much support from her own mother in her decision and so the caseworker thought it would be good for them to spend the evening together talking about her options.

By late morning the next day we received word from the caseworker that his birth mom had made it halfway through her required adoption paperwork and couldn't go any farther. She was still so torn on what decision was the right decision. So, together they came up with another plan. His birth mom would take him home with her and then the next day (a Friday) they would meet again to go over what his birth mom had decided she wanted to do. After we got this call we decided to leave Raleigh and head down to Shannon's to spend some time with her. If we ended up not getting Miles then our plan was to just fly home that weekend, but at least we would've gotten a few days with Shannon and her family.

That Friday was a VERY long day for both of us just waiting and waiting to hear from the caseworker. Friday night at 5:00 p.m. we still hadn't heard anything so I had Dave call to check on things. When Dave got off the phone he informed me that Miles' birth mom had signed the papers and that Miles' was in the process of being taken to the respite care providers house!!! We had previously decided that we would put Miles in respite care because in North Carolina his birth mom had 7 days to revoke her parental rights and change her mind about the adoption. With her having such a hard time making the decision in the first place we thought it would be best to put Miles in respite so that we wouldn't begin to fall in love with him and take care of him, etc. and then possibly lose him. That would've been more than I could handle. The news that she had gone through with it and signed the papers was VERY exciting news for us, but we knew that we still had 7 LONG days to make it through before he would join our family.

We had a great time that next week hanging out with Shannon's family and getting to know them better. We did lots of fun things while we were there (those pictures will come in another post). It was such a blessing to be able to stay with them. It was a nice diversion so we weren't so focused on whether or not we were actually going to get Miles or not. We got periodic updates throughout the week from our caseworker about things that his birth mom continued to struggle with. We also got updates via the adoption agency on how Miles was doing in respite. It was a LONG 7 days for us, but as previously mentioned it was so nice to be at Shannon's house during that time. I could never thank her enough!!!

Late that next Friday evening we got a call from the caseworker and she said that she had no indication from Miles' birth mom that she was going to revoke her rights so we should start getting ready to bring a baby home with us. We were told that we should be at the attorney's office at 11 a.m. on Monday morning to pick him up. She also asked us if it would be okay if his birth mom was there so that she could say her final goodbye. We, of course, agreed and wanted to see her again as well. We spent the next two days getting ready for Miles to join our family. Our neighbors wanted to throw us a shower fairly quickly so we registered at three different stores and also bought all sorts of cute clothes, diapers, wipes, and formula. We were ready!

We both got zero sleep that weekend because we were so excited for this new chapter to begin in our lives. We got up bright and early Monday morning and drove up to Raleigh with Shannon. While at the attorney's office we got to meet Miles' respite care provider, Ann. She is such a cute lady and had fallen madly in love with Miles. She was excited for us to have him join our family. We also got to spend some time with Miles' birth mom and her current boyfriend. After Miles' joined our family we spent the next 24 hours waiting on ICPC approval (NC and Utah both had to approve us to be able to leave NC with Miles and then return to Utah with him) and making our way home. We rented a hotel room that Monday night and were on a plane heading to Utah by late Tuesday afternoon. We had been gone exactly two weeks! It was the best homecoming ever! The second we hit the ground in Salt Lake City I began crying because I was so excited to be bringing this sweet angel home with us and was so excited for our future with him.

We had so many prayers said in our behalf and so many people helping us out along the way! We are truly blessed to have all of you in our lives! Miles has a GREAT group of friends and family to get to know! It is impossible to mention everyone who helped us out during this journey in our lives on our blog (the list is too long), but do know that we are SOOOOOO thankful for all of your love and support!

Getting ready to go in to the attorney's office to pick up Miles!!!

Ann, Miles' respite care provider who he stayed with during the 7 days while we waited to see if his birth mom would change her mind about placing him for adoption

Our first family photo!!!

Our family is complete

Feeding him for the first time

He's OURS!!!

By the time we got done at the attorney's office it was way past lunchtime so the first place we went was to McDonald's for food

Miles & Aunt Shannon

Miles and dad

Our family

Miles' first night with us

The next morning

We finally get to go HOME!!!

Miles & dad at the airport

We thought his "on the go" outfit from Aunt Shannon would be perfect for the occasion

Miles on the airplane

Miles had pictures taken

Here are just a few of the pictures Miles had taken the other night! One of my dear friends has a sister who does professional photography. As a welcome gift to Miles she took his pictures for free. We are so excited about how they turned out and can't wait to see the rest. You did a GREAT job Catrina!

To view a couple of them, visit Catrina's blog!

The rest of the story part 1

Two of the four grandmas are here this weekend to meet Miles so I'm taking advantage of the extra help and am finally doing a post. Amazed, aren't you? Fair warning, this could potentially be a long post, but there will be pictures at the end!

We were "approved" to adopt last November. This essentially means that we passed our home study, background checks, etc. So, our wait began. Over the course of the next nine months we were contacted about 12 babies that were available for adoption. In almost every situation our caseworker called to see if we wanted our profile to be shown to these birth moms, but then we never heard another word so we assumed she had chosen someone else. We got a little bit farther in the process in a couple of situations, but ultimately it didn't work out.

We had a very quiet summer with absolutely no calls regarding adoption and I started to get frustrated. At the beginning of August while Dave was in Alaska visiting his brother I spent an entire Friday evening on the computer researching ways that would help us spread the word that we wanted to adopt. The very next morning I woke up to a VERY exciting email waiting in my inbox. An adoption agency in Orem had found our profile on Parent Profiles and was in need of a couple for a baby on an urgent basis. I immediately called the contact person for this agency and gathered more information. I then called Dave to see if this was something he was interested in pursuing and he agreed. This is what started it all and began the emotional roller coaster we were on for the next month. In the end this particular birth mom did not pick us, but it wasn't long before Miles joined our family.

Not even a week later we got another call from this agency saying that a birth mother had picked us. We couldn't be more excited!!! This baby was due at the end of Sept. so we had about a month to prepare for the arrival. Over the course of the next few days we started to not feel so good about this situation and were wondering if maybe we should not pursue it. There was a miscommunication between us and the agency and this situation was going to cost us quite a bit more than what we were comfortable with. After many prayers were said and several tears were shed we decided that we needed to back out. This had to be one of the hardest things we have done up to this point.

The tears hadn't even dried when I decided to check my email again. Waiting in my inbox was another exciting email. I thought for sure that this was an answer to our prayers and the reason that the last situation didn't feel right. This email was from an adoption agency located in Layton. They had a baby that was born that exact morning and was located in Michigan. They wanted to know if we were interested and if we were able to fly out to Michigan immediately. We talked it over quickly and decided that we would do whatever it took to get this baby. Everything changed in the next 24 hours or so though and the mom started having doubts about her decision to place. We patiently waited for her to make her decision before we flew out there. About three or four days later we received word that the birth mom was being discharged from the hospital and was going to keep the baby. Up to that point that was the farthest we had made it in the process so when we received word she was keeping the baby we just broke down emotionally. I pretty much cried that entire weekend and wondered, "why me/us?"

The next couple of weeks were very quiet, but I think it gave us time to heal and prepare for the next roller coaster ride. Late one Thursday night (11:30 p.m.) we got a call from the agency in Layton. They had a birth mom who had delivered a week previous in Colorado. They bought her a train ticket to Utah and were wondering if we would be interested in this baby. We were reluctant, but of course agreed. When the day arrived for the birth mom to arrive in Utah she never got off the train and they never heard a word from her again. Once again, this was very hard on us, but each step helped us get a little bit more prepared. This birth mom was to arrive in Utah on a Friday evening and by Monday morning we received another call from the agency in Layton.

The day was Sept. 14th. They had a birth mom in North Carolina who had delivered a baby boy that morning. By this point we were VERY hesitant and reserved. We, of course, wanted to pursue the situation, but also wanted to be reserved in order to protect ourselves. I told the caseworker that we really did not want to fly out to NC until we had almost 100% confirmation that this birth mom was going to place. They seemed to be under the impression that this was the case and that the birth mom was positive she couldn't raise her baby. The agency here hired an attorney in NC to begin all of the legal paperwork while we looked for flights out there. Late in the afternoon I received a call from the attorney and he recommended that we not hop on any plane too quickly because he didn't think the birth mom was 100% sure. He said we should give her a day to make a decision. The next day seemed to bring better news. Everyone was under the impression that she was going to go through with the adoption, but that she was very interested in meeting us first. We booked a flight for that evening and arrived in NC bright and early the next day.

We got off the plane and hit the ground running...

(more to come)

Teaser

Here is a fairly recent picture of our sweety pie! I promise more pictures and the entire story is coming soon! I love my new job, but am hating that I don't have any time off!